Why should I?
Because geniuses are few and far between and you're so awesome, I just know you'll have another genius idea to improve the capital.
You're right. I am awesome.
And with that, Jon stopped talking to himself, turned away from the mirror and returned to his antiquated electronic writing device to type out his latest idea in a most unconventional manner.
After a while he decided that writing his blog in the third person probably wasn't his greatest idea, and that hopefully nobody would notice when I reverted to the first person half way through a sentence....
Seamless!
So as promised...
Picture the scene. You're a London local. You're in a tube station. You're on your way down the escalator towards the station platform. And because you're not an idiot or a tourist, and you understand the English language, you'll know you have the choice of either standing on the right or walking down the left side of the escalator.
If your not a small child or an elderly person or an American, then you'll have chosen to walk down the escalator as every able-bodied adult with even the loosest understanding of the concept of gravity should. But then you have two further types of people to contend with...
There'll be the usual moronic-foreign-elderly-child type of person who's stood on the left of the escalator. You need to be patient with these, and ask them politely to move out of the way. Some people ought to know better, but it's quite hard to tell from behind which of the people are simpletons and which are just arseholes.
Then there's the tailgater. The teenager who runs down the escalator who then has to stop becuase you're in the way, and then continues just inches behind you. The city-boy with the stupid pointy shoes who has to leg it down three steps at a time. The businessman who absolutely must get to the platform in order to get the train that's waiting there, lest he miss and have to wait for the next train, all of 90 seconds later. Run businessman, run! Oh my god, I can hear the doors beeping already! Quick! RUN!!
Pedestrian tailgating is not nice. You can hear them coming, then you're ever conscious that they're just behind you. No, I will not speed up for you. I usually walk faster than most people but I'm not going to speed up going down a staircase, let alone a staircase that's moving. Nor am I going to find a place to my right to move to so that you can go past. I like my personal space. Why are you in such a rush in the first place.
The solution of course is obvious. Have a third option; Are you going to take the stairs, the escalator, or the slide?
Fun for kids. Great if you're genuinely in a rush. Perfect if you find that walking speed plus the speed of an escalator isn't fast enough for you. There could even be an extra steep slide... just for thrill seekers and really impatient people.
If that's not fast enough for you (and let's face it, we're talking about the arseholes who always need to be some place 5 minutes ago), then you can choose the fireman's pole. No training given. Use it at your own risk. And if your maximum acceleration due to gravity isn't enough for you, then I'm sure we can think up some sort of explosive upside-down human cannon.
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